To Tell or Not to Tell with Darren McGarvey Review by Charlene Bennie

“We need stories to help people make sense of reality”    To Tell or Not to Tell with Darren McGarvey Review by Charlene Bennie

It’s truly remarkable how personal trauma has become a more open topic of discussion in recent years.

From heartfelt conversations to focus groups and even on platforms like Tik tok and Netflix, people seem more willing to openly address what was once considered taboo.

This movement of sharing personal experiences has its benefits, especially in challenging the stigma around mental health. However, it does raise the question: should our most vulnerable experiences be part of the public discourse?

This was explored by best-selling author and social commentator Darren McGarvey in his spoken word event “To Tell or Not to Tell” at the Harbour Arts Centre in Irvine, North Ayrshire on Tuesday, October 15.

The event was part of the Scottish Mental Health Arts Festival’s 2024 programme In/Visible and was in partnership with RAMH North Ayrshire Wellbeing and Recovery College.

“Recovery is Possible. Your past doesn’t define your future and there is hope” – Recovery College North Ayrshire

During “To Tell or Not to Tell,” two Peer Volunteers, Ian and Kim, courageously shared their mental health journeys from their darkest moments to how they are now using their lived experiences to help others in similar situations. Their stories were filled with genuine, raw emotion and unfiltered honesty. However, they focused on their journey towards resilience, overcoming adversity, and progressing their recovery, emphasising that “Recovery is possible. Your past doesn’t define your future and there is hope.”

“Lived experience matters-it’s powerful” -Darren McGarvey, To Tell or Not To Tell

Darren McGarvey began his talk by reciting a powerful piece of poetry blending witty comedy with his outspoken personal account of growing up. It was admirable how he used his lived experience to turn it into something creative and to inspire others to share their stories. However, he went on to discuss the implications of the new narrative of trauma being such a massive topic in popular culture. He is framing it as ‘industrial trauma’ and is the subject of his developing next book.

Social media greatly influences how we talk about trauma, but it may not be the best place for these conversations. While platforms like Instagram can create supportive communities, sharing personal struggles may expose people to more vulnerability.

Another concerning issue is that trauma-sharing can sometimes become competitive. No matter how hard your experience has been, someone will always be ready to try and undermine it by saying theirs is worse.

Oversharing can also trigger others. As Darren McGarvey noted, even with trigger warnings designed to prepare people for upcoming dangers of becoming emotionally vulnerable, many people are curious about others’ traumatic experiences and often appear eager to learn more. Therefore, engaging with this content comes at the person’s own risk.

A compassionate approach to trauma-informed care

Instead of using social media to discuss trauma, there are better options available. The Recovery College promotes a trauma-informed model that, instead of saying “Here’s how it is” – asks, “How can I move forward?” This approach helps people look ahead rather than be stuck in the past.

No one wants to be weighed down by trauma forever. Sharing personal stories in appropriate settings with the right people can be a meaningful way to seek support. As Darren McGarvey said, “We need stories to help people make sense of reality. Your story matters, and stories deserve to be told.”